Ironic Reality

The lifetime struggle
Seeking that balance point
Riding the line between

Believing in myself
Yet knowing I’m human
That I’ll make mistakes

How to be able to see this
Perfect in my imperfection
Yet exactly what makes me perfect
Is that I can be improved

And what cost at either extreme?

Walking blindly into disaster with the belief that I can’t fall

Or doubt
Never moving in fear that I might break something

Flow occurs somewhere in between
Not seeking to fail or destroy
But not fearing it either
A firm commitment to seeing what is
And moving in that reality

Life teaches
Some things need breaking
Even though their cost
In pain
In struggle
Might be astronomical

Sometimes those things that must break are things we’ve spent decades
Or centuries building

Those are the scariest edifices to topple
And sometimes the most necessary at that

It’s amazing to me how much building is in breaking
It’s not obvious at first
But just as with everything
Life dies to rot to make way for new life
New growth

Maybe the immortality we seek is not an ever-unchanging
Grey life like most seem to live
But an ever-changing
Death at every moment
Rebirth into new life
That careens spiraling ever upward
Laughing in the face of “I’m not ready”

Oh irony
The thing we run from is the very thing we think we are running toward
We run away from really living
So we can hide from losing our lives
We shy away from truly loving
So that we can shield our heart from having to be broken

What tragedy!
That in order to never lose we never gain
That we stifle our passions and silence our voices and clip our wings
Thinking we have victory
As we dance around the altar upon which we have sacrificed our joy

Thinking this is safe

I reject walking as a ghost upon this Earth
I am alive
To chase immortality
But only if the chase is a merry one
Only if we really grasp what this means

Only if we learn to be awake in a moment
Can we ever dare to dream of eternity


Just finished the Earthsea series by Ursula K. Le Guin.  Feeling inspired.

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